RITA SKEETER: Who’s been a bad boy? Likes to sneak out of the dorms at night? Dreams of having May-December threesomes? Anyone? Besides, would you pay eight bucks to see Harry Potter and the Fairly Uneventful Year at Wizard School?
#HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE ONLINE 123 MOVIES MOVIE#
SNAPE: Unfortunately, I think you’ll find that the rest of this movie begs to differ.ĭUMBLEDORE: I’m afraid he’s right, Minerva. MCGONAGALL: Albus, you can’t let him do this! Potter is a boy, not a piece of meat! HARRY: I didn’t put my name in! I don’t want eternal fame and glory! I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I kind of already have it! MOODY: Oh, come on, Potter didn’t do it! Look at the kid, he can’t even comb his hair!ĭUMBLEDORE : DID YOU DO IT, HARRY? DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET? ANSWER ME, YOU LITTLE SHIT! JUST GO AHEAD AND DIE IF YOU’RE THAT STUPID, SEE IF I CARE! THE GOBLET OF FIRE: *cough HARRYPOTTERcough* GINNY: You know, I liked the boylove thing better when it didn’t involve my brothers.ĭUMBLEDORE: We are gathered here now to choose one person (who is not Harry Potter) to represent each school, but only one (who is not Harry Potter) will achieve eternal fame and glory in the Triwizard Tournament, in which Harry Potter is not old enough to compete! MOODY: Now, who knows the name of the curse that drove Longbottom’s parents insane?
HARRY: Finally, a Dark Arts teacher who's hardcore. Please join me in a warm welcome for the brooding swarth of Durmstrang and the silken derrières of Beauxbatons!ĭUMBLEDORE: And now a special welcome to our new Defense of the Dark Arts professor,, Alastor Moody! ĭUMBLEDORE: This year will not be mellow, but it will be the next best thing, which is awesome. Please quote or link back, do not repost. Also, I’m not sure why our Charms professor suddenly looks like a very small dictator, but far be it from me to judge our teaching personnel. Both the Patils are now in Gryffindor, and the new bridge worked out so well last year that we’re keeping it. Somewhere TropicalĭUMBLEDORE: Attention, attention! I have a few announcements! This year’s sorting has been cut for time, as we’ve got a number of plot points to get through. ĬROUCH: Oh, this is useless-the boy’s clearly sustained some kind of blow to the head. HARRY: There was Some Leather Jacket Guy! With some chavvy blonde! They got in a police box and flew away! WEASLEY: SIMMER DOWN, BARTY! It’s okay, Harry, tell us what you saw. īARTY CROUCH: DID YOU CAST THE DARK MARK, BOY? ARE YOU A DEATH EATER? ARE YOU EVEN REALLY A TEENAGE BOY?! WEASLEY: Fred! George! Make sure Ginny doesn’t get killed! Don’t worry about Harry, he’s just the Boy Who Lived! And STICK TOGETHER! Victory Celebrations After the Most Awesome Game of Quidditch Ever GEORGE (OR FRED): We’re going to the World Cup! It’ll be the most awesome game of quidditch ever! GINNY: I don’t know where we’re going, but I think I’m going to like it. It was harder to write than I thought, probably because the movie was 1) actually good and 2) chock-full of plot. Yes, people have been reported (and not by me, either) and lost ff.net accounts over this. By the way: reposting the whole thing without my name on your journal or ? Still stealing. There's no reason to do that when you can link back here far more easily than reposting a 4000-word piece. Please do not repost the entire parody anywhere, period. "Chamber of Secrets," to date, has not been written.ĥ. "Prisoner of Azkaban in Fifteen Minutes" is here "Sorcerer's Stone" is in the book. When you write a parody, you can do that.Ĥ. Things in this parody have been altered, rearranged, compressed, or left out entirely. The parody includes spoilers for Goblet of Fire (obviously) and at least one major spoiler for Order of the Phoenix. I'm posting this in honor of Pixel-Stained Technopeasant Wretchery Day, since I got my book deal because I put my work online for free.Ģ.
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